The Phrases given by My Dad Which Rescued Us as a Brand-New Dad

"In my view I was simply just surviving for twelve months."

Former reality TV star Ryan Libbey thought he would to cope with the challenges of fatherhood.

However the reality quickly turned out to be "very different" to what he pictured.

Severe health issues around the birth resulted in his partner Louise admitted to hospital. All of a sudden he was forced into acting as her chief support in addition to looking after their baby boy Leo.

"I handled each nighttime feed, each diaper… every stroll. The job of both parents," Ryan explained.

Following nearly a year he reached burnout. That was when a conversation with his own dad, on a bench in the park, that made him realise he needed help.

The straightforward words "You aren't in a good spot. You require support. How can I assist you?" created an opening for Ryan to speak honestly, seek support and start recovering.

His experience is commonplace, but rarely discussed. Although the public is now more comfortable talking about the pressure on mothers and about post-natal depression, not enough is spoken about the difficulties dads face.

Seeking help isn't a weakness to ask for help

Ryan believes his challenges are symptomatic of a wider inability to open up between men, who continue to absorb damaging perceptions of what it means to be a man.

Men, he says, often feel they must be "the harbour wall that just gets hit and stays upright with each wave."

"It is not a show of failure to request help. I failed to do that fast enough," he adds.

Mental health expert Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist specialising in mental health surrounding childbirth, says men frequently refuse to accept they're having a hard time.

They can believe they are "not justified to be seeking help" - most notably ahead of a mum and baby - but she emphasises their mental well-being is equally important to the unit.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad offered him the chance to take a break - spending a few days overseas, separate from the home environment, to gain perspective.

He understood he required a adjustment to consider his and his partner's emotional states in addition to the day-to-day duties of taking care of a new baby.

When he shared with Louise, he realised he'd missed "what she was yearning" -reassuring touch and paying attention to her words.

Reparenting yourself'

That realisation has changed how Ryan sees fatherhood.

He's now penning Leo letters each week about his experiences as a dad, which he wishes his son will see as he grows up.

Ryan hopes these will help his son to better grasp the language of feelings and understand his parenting choices.

The idea of "parenting yourself" is something rapper and songwriter Professor Green - real name Stephen Manderson - has also strongly identified with since fathering his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

During his childhood Stephen did not have consistent male parenting. Despite having an "incredible" relationship with his dad, long-standing difficult experiences meant his father found it hard to cope and was "present intermittently" of his life, complicating their bond.

Stephen says bottling up emotions caused him to make "terrible actions" when he was younger to modify how he felt, seeking comfort in drink and drugs as escapism from the pain.

"You turn to behaviours that don't help," he notes. "They may temporarily change how you feel, but they will eventually exacerbate the problem."

Advice for Coping as a New Father

• Talk to someone - when you are overwhelmed, tell a friend, your spouse or a professional about your state of mind. It can help to lighten the load and make you feel more supported.
• Maintain your passions - keep doing the pursuits that made you feel like yourself before the baby arrived. Examples include going for a run, seeing friends or playing video games.
• Don't ignore the physical health - nutritious food, physical activity and where possible, sleep, all are important in how your mental state is doing.
• Spend time with other parents in the same boat - listening to their experiences, the messy ones, and also the joys, can help to put into perspective how you're feeling.
• Know that seeking help isn't failing - prioritising yourself is the optimal method you can support your loved ones.

When his father later died by suicide, Stephen naturally found it hard to accept the loss, having not spoken to him for a long time.

As a dad now, Stephen's committed not to "repeat the pattern" with his own son and instead give the security and emotional support he did not receive.

When his son starts to have a outburst, for example, they try "shaking the feelings out" together - managing the emotions constructively.

Each of Ryan and Stephen state they have become improved and more well-rounded men because they confronted their struggles, transformed how they talk, and taught themselves to regulate themselves for their sons.

"I'm better… sitting with things and handling things," says Stephen.

"I expressed that in a letter to Leo last week," Ryan says. "I wrote, on occasion I believe my job is to instruct and tell you how to behave, but the truth is, it's a dialogue. I am discovering just as much as you are in this journey."